Tag: Needed or Not?

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Christmas Needed or Not – Miller Lite Tree Stand

The corporate beer crew love a good piece of misdirection.  Like a Vegas magician, they want you to look anywhere but AT the beer and Christmas is a time of magic so of course Miller Lite is selling…

….the limited-edition keg stand sells for $49.99 and is the latest addition to the Miller Lite holiday lineup, and shows that they would much rather market then buy good ingredients and improve their beer.

Needed?  – Unless you want an intervention on the 26th of December, not.  But at least it is better than an ugly Christmas sweater.

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Needed or Not? – Sportsman’s Club

I have plenty of brewery t-shirts and merch but I have never once thought to myself, I wish that Miller High Life would have a clothing line that was classy, priced between $44-$78.

But apparently if you get a hyped clothing brand to join forces with, then it is greenlit.

Verdict – put that money into your beer ingredients and not clothing.

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Needed or Not – Beer Cheese Pretzels

I still do not know what really constitutes beer cheese.  Is there even beer in the cheese? Or is it just a bit of malty flavor?

That being said, transferring cheese flavor to a pretzel cannot be easy.  Adding a beer cheese to a pretzel must be harder.

So, this would be Needed or Not based on one taste of the pretzel.  If it ain’t good, or at least to the American level of saltiness then the vote is Not Needed.

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Needed or Not – The Dive Bar

Cut to the chase.  Not needed.  A light flavorless seen better days beer simply ain’t gonna add much of anything to chocolate or ice cream.  I bet that if blindfolded, you could not taste the difference between plain and “High Life”. 

But if a craft brewery added a stout or a fruited sour to an ice cream treat, then I would be 100% on board.  But adding water beer, nah.

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Needed or Not? – Heineken Beer Shoes

I guess walking on water is passe when you can walk on beer? But man these sneakers ain’t pretty to my eyes so I would hope to sink.

Here is the snippet from Adweek, “The company used a specialized surgical injection method to inject Heineken Silver into the soles, aiming to create a ‘smooth’ sensation when walking in the shoes that supposedly mirrors the taste profile of the beer.”

Needed ? – No on the beer inside which is probably skunked and no on the generic Italian flag color scheme.

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Too Early to Put Coal in the Stocking?

Who in the actual f..k would seriously use this…

… I nearly did a spit take with this PR copy, “To bring real beer taste to the grill, actual Miller Lite is reduced down into a concentrated form which then coats Miller Lite Beercoal with the iconic taste of the original light beer. When burned, this special charcoal releases the taste of Miller Lite wrapping whatever you’re grilling in a smokey beer blanket suitable for summer.”

So, the taste of water? Why not douse your pit BBQ with a pitcher of H2O then.

I wish there was video of the pitch meeting for this.

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Needed or Not? – Beer Deer

Right off the bat, NO!

It is gaudy. You can’t tell the breweries very easily. And if you did, it is mostly the industrial lager boys.

Then, where would this go? Maybe a garage where one wouldn’t have to look at it. Maybe a dorm room if you want to declare how uncultured you are.

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Needed or Not? – Heineken B.O.T.

Summer is prime time for this feature of the blog. Every week seems to bring some wacky new beer idea. Heineken is next with their B.O.T.

The Beer Outdoor Transporter. Obviously the B.O.T. was thought of first. Basically a tiny cooler on wheels that follows you to your party like the Mars Rover.

Now there are plain, old, boring coolers that you have to lift with your actual arms and there are wheeled versions that you have to drag or push but who wants to work.

Verdict – Not Needed. It’s 2021, I want a combination jet pack and cooler.

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Needed or Not? – The Shoezie

I can just picture this pitch meeting. Some marketing and swag VP cracks a joke about shoes being the first iteration of can coozy. A higher up laughs and then barks for a lackey to call his counterpart over at New Balance and thus….

A) It looks like something you would put on a horse for a Disney kids movie

B) I know Lite MUST be drunk cold so that you can freeze your taste buds but do I want the aroma of shoe leather?

Verdict – So not needed