Needed or Not? – Stanley beer tumbler

Unless you have been under a large rock, you will have run across the Stanley Tumbler trend. A (somewhat) affordable must have item that people wanted to be seen with so coolness can be associated with and then some started obsessively collecting and fighting for.

But Stanley also has beer items as well. Like this….

A few problems, not clear so you can’t see your beer. Also not something you would use for Kolsch service or a barrel-aged beers and lastly, that is a price tag.

Needed? – No, a simple collection of a few specific beer glasses would be a much better choice.

Needed or Not? – Part 2 – Beer Mints

Marketing folks must get really bored or have an idea quota because some of the stuff they come up with is just bonkers. Here is exhibit A….

Forgoing the easy, mints that taste like water joke, why would anyone pop a Lite beer mint? My guess is that it is a co-packaged mint with no beer from whomever bulk manufactures mints for dirt cheap.

Pass, so very hard.

Needed or Not? – Part 1 – DDH Hop Water

Setting aside “adaptagens” and “nootropics”, do we need sparkling water to be both double hopped and dry hopped? And who in the sparkling water customer base is going to see that and yank it from the shelves?

What I find extra funny is that the hops are not even labeled but they had room to write “for extra bold flavor”.

Not Needed!

Needed or Not? – Beer n Brats chips

Limited time potato chip varietals will never stop.  I like to imagine that there are tubes filled with ten spices and to make a new flavor, in this case, Lays Chip Researchers just re-mixe the spices in different amounts and orders to come up with one that resembles Beer flavor and sausage flavor.  

But why? Are they really selling enough of these to justify the new packaging and clip art? I have the same reaction to Chicken and waffles chips too.

NOT needed. Just get a beer, then sausage then add in chips on the side. Or at least Lays should stick to just Brat flavored.

Needed or Not? – Switch Bottle Opener

Now-a-days, you are either popping a can top or hacking your way through a waxed seal. Bottle caps are just not part of the current craft beer scenario.

Which leads to the switchblade without a blade but a bottle opener instead. The customization is cool but I do not need to carry one more thing around that I would probably not use. And more than likely, I would forget the one time it could be used.

So, not needed though a good idea.

Needed or Not – Coors Light Tap Lounger

Sorry, the subject line says Tap Lounger when Coors call it a Chill Throne. Honestly, back massager cool, tap extra cool. Everything else is a hard pass. Plus, I gotta think that when you plug this in it is gonna be hella loud, right?

If I could re-upholster and re-tap handle, then yes. Gimme. Otherwise, no.

Needed or Not? – CandyCorn Whiskey

Look, I know you see Fireball selling like, well, fire and yes, spooky season is here but goddamn no one wants candy corn flavored whiskey.  

Two alternative names, free of charge: call it sugared up beginners whiskey and leave it at that.  Or just label it, whiskey that was passed over as inferior by everyone else so we dumped a but ton of sugar in it and are now trying to recoup the cost of the sugar.

And to breweries, do not even think of a candy corn beer.

Needed or Not? – Seltzer Air Freshener

Lavender is a love it / hate it smell. Wife can do without it in its entirety while I can enjoy a small sample of it. So this….

…car air freshener from Green Cheek Beer Co. will not grace the inside of the family car but I think it is a funny idea and a great way to get that logo out in the world. And as a bonus the hard seltzer part has been removed.

Needed is the verdict!

Needed or Not? – Peanut Bar

You know what I haven’t been waiting for for 53 years, a giant peanut dive bar on wheels but yet, Miller Lite has joined up with Planters to create a 26-foot nut bar.

The installation also includes: (because it has to by influencer law)

  • A selfie wall that only needs red string to make super creepy
  • A dropped ceiling littered with dollar bills to create the feel of a bar that no millennial would be caught dead in
  • A nut-shaped jukebox with I assume power ballads about nuts?
  • A warm nut machine (also the name of my ska band)

Needed or Not? – The Krakin

Welcome to Red Flag City, our first guest will help you shotgun your beer faster. Wildman Drinking presents Krakin.

Big tip off #1 is Wildman Drinking. Do I want to be Wildman Drinking? I think I am drinking fine. Next is Krakin, spelled wrong to avoid NHL lawsuits from Seattle.

If you are in shotgun land, stay there and please do not come out. So, not needed.