Follow Sean Inman to the best in craft beer
Sorry, the subject line says Tap Lounger when Coors call it a Chill Throne. Honestly, back massager cool, tap extra cool. Everything else is a hard pass. Plus, I gotta think that when you plug this in it is gonna be hella loud, right?
If I could re-upholster and re-tap handle, then yes. Gimme. Otherwise, no.
Look, I know you see Fireball selling like, well, fire and yes, spooky season is here but goddamn no one wants candy corn flavored whiskey.
Two alternative names, free of charge: call it sugared up beginners whiskey and leave it at that. Or just label it, whiskey that was passed over as inferior by everyone else so we dumped a but ton of sugar in it and are now trying to recoup the cost of the sugar.
And to breweries, do not even think of a candy corn beer.
Lavender is a love it / hate it smell. Wife can do without it in its entirety while I can enjoy a small sample of it. So this….
…car air freshener from Green Cheek Beer Co. will not grace the inside of the family car but I think it is a funny idea and a great way to get that logo out in the world. And as a bonus the hard seltzer part has been removed.
Needed is the verdict!
You know what I haven’t been waiting for for 53 years, a giant peanut dive bar on wheels but yet, Miller Lite has joined up with Planters to create a 26-foot nut bar.
The installation also includes: (because it has to by influencer law)
Welcome to Red Flag City, our first guest will help you shotgun your beer faster. Wildman Drinking presents Krakin.
Big tip off #1 is Wildman Drinking. Do I want to be Wildman Drinking? I think I am drinking fine. Next is Krakin, spelled wrong to avoid NHL lawsuits from Seattle.
If you are in shotgun land, stay there and please do not come out. So, not needed.
Miller High Life , the (don’t call it the) champagne of beers, is getting into chocolate.
They have tasked the chocolatier Phillip Ashley with creating not just truffles made with the watery beer but “Bar Snack Truffles, a collection of beer-infused chocolates that celebrate iconic bar snacks.” All for $35.00!
The weird and unappetizing flavors are:
– Grilled Cheese: triple cream cheese white chocolate ganache in a blond chocolate shell
– Lemon Pepper Chicken Wing: a fried chicken ganache infused with lemon pepper seasoning
– Pretzel Praline: salted pretzel and roasted pecans combined with handcrafted caramel and blond chocolate
– Beernut: freshly roasted peanuts soaked in the beer then ground into our fragrant butter and enrobed in a milk chocolate shell
– Buttery Popcorn: white chocolate ganache infused with movie theater style popcorn
– Sweet Potato Fry: garnett sweet potato mash blended with blond chocolate.
Needed? – Truffles and chocolate can work well but this is too much savory. So the answer is Not.
So, first, watch this video…
Now that you have watched the video, you know the answer. It is a firm, Yikes! NO!
The bottle of whiskey in the fancy bottle above will set you back $75,000. Why? Because it will be aged in a low altitude orbit above the Earth. The very definition of “space aged”.
But wait, that is not all. You get an NFT, exclusive launch and re-entry parties, a piece of one of the space barrels and a sample bottle so you do not sully the main bottle. If the wooden barrels filled with alcohol do not explode on re-entry, of course.
Part of me wishes that craft beer would bring back the over the moon, wack-a-doodle ideas that cost more than they taste good. Age a beer in a cemetery. Brew a glitter seltzer shandy. Break some rules!
Needed? – Of course not. You can spend that 75k if you want, but you have to spend the same amount on a charity at the same time.
Or, and hear me out, I could buy a bottle of wine or can of cider in less than an hour at, say, Trader Joe’s. Instead of straining a pour little cranberry into un-natural positions.
Or, you could head to a home brew shop and learn how-to make your own wine and cider in probably the same amount of time.
Leave poor Ocean Spray out of it.
So very Not Needed.
The corporate beer crew love a good piece of misdirection. Like a Vegas magician, they want you to look anywhere but AT the beer and Christmas is a time of magic so of course Miller Lite is selling…
….the limited-edition keg stand sells for $49.99 and is the latest addition to the Miller Lite holiday lineup, and shows that they would much rather market then buy good ingredients and improve their beer.
Needed? – Unless you want an intervention on the 26th of December, not. But at least it is better than an ugly Christmas sweater.