Tag: beer names

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You Could Do Better….

I could/should probably devote this post to Brewdog and their “humor” website for their new TV “channel” but let’s skip over that for now and focus on some bad beer names that need improvement.

Why? Because I am tired of names that appear to have been spur of the moment choices.

Let me add that I am skipping over the Blonde Ale category. I now expect sexist names for those and I feel the style has been taken to the woodshed enough and will have to be again.

Dewey Beer – Single for the Summer
Promoting infidelity? How about Party of One instead? That sounds less on the prowl.

Southern Grist – [Insert Juicy Pun]
I see what you are doing there, how very meta? How about educating? Citra Guava IPA or Mosaic Mango?

Chaos Mountain – Squatch Ale
I know there are too many Sasquatch names beers so how about finding a new mythical creature.

Boss Dog – Millenial Hipster
Wow. Two words that both are so overused that I nearly cringe into a ball. How about instead finding a niche culture and name a beer after it? Maybe Westminster Winner?

Now are the above beer names bad or lazy, not really, but they are missed opportunities for more creativity.

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Strange Beer Names

After watching too many re-runs of old(ish) SNL skits with Stefon and Miss Rafferty, I thought of weird connections and how even the non-sensical can be extremely funny. Combine that with puns that breweries like to use and the results can be strange.

Here are four that struck me as funny….

Mr. Trash Wheel’s Lost Python Ale – Peabody Heights
Hilma Vanilla Burger Fries IIPA – Omnipollo
Psychedelic Cat Grass – Shorts Brewing
Perishable Produce – Block 15

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Peel the Label – Naming Rights

In this day and age with over 700 breweries in California alone, finding just the right name for a brewery or beer that both defines and expands the brand can be a research task that becomes a wormhole to a lost day of work.

Adding humor to that mix too, just adds a dimension of field testing as rigorous as recipe development. Simply because there are so many people out there who seem to be waiting to be offended, to the point where actual offensiveness can almost be obscured.

With the interwebs fueled (and for once justifiable) rage against Special Ed’s brewing enterprise now run its course to the inevitable name change, I offer my services as one-man focus group as to what other words should be avoided unless you enjoy controversy.

Anything to do with bodily functions and undergarments. I know that everyone poops but when I order and drink a beer, I don’t want my impression of your beer to be about stains or skid marks. That is not the image that I want in my mind when drinking your beer.  Nor do I want to think about nether regions either which takes nuts and dicks off the table.  So (not) sorry to the Ass Clowns of the world.

Second, we don’t need any more buxom women on labels. Not until there is an equal amount of six-pack ab’d men.  I’m sure that Portuguese football star Ronaldo will model for your beer. Excuse me for not ordering your Bombshell Blonde but it seems lazy to sell your Kolsch/Helles in that Bud Easy Way. Take the better route that Deschutes did with their Non-Derogatory Blonde Ale.

Those are just two categories of offense and maybe I should be glad that the breweries tip their juvenile humor hand because it makes it easier for me to winnow the field of choices when I am beer shopping.

Stay classy out there

Peel the Label is an occasional series where I opine about the big picture of craft beer and blogging without photos, videos or links.