Tag: alcopops

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Peel the Label – Seltzer

I have “tried” hard soda and hard kombucha but I will be avoiding even trying the hard seltzers of the world. Not because of some stubborn purity but because I really don’t see the point in anything that is hardened at this point. I am not looking at Mr. Pibb or Fresca and saying to myself that I wish they were the same but made me tipsy.

I have seen caffeinated water, water with hops, electrolyte filled water and probably a few other weird variants that I am forgetting. It is the brand extension marketplace that we live in. I totally get that. It was only a matter of time before all other forms of liquid were alcohol’d up. 5% carrot juice may be next for all I know.

To me, stripping the color, modifying the alcohol level and tossing in some fruit flavor is not what I am looking for when I want a beverage. Seltzer is seltzer, soda is soda. Add crazy flavor combinations all day and into the night, if you so desire. But “adult” versions to me are what cocktails are for.

If your brewery needs a line of seltzers to pay off the fermenters, then by all means, go for it. In the end, it is a business. And if they sell, then sell them. If people buy birthday cake Dr. Pepper or Ghost Pepper slushies then, I guess toss anything in a can and see what happens. I will not be buying them though.

Peel the Label is an infrequent series with no photos or links. Just opinion.

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Reviews – Not Your Mom’s ….

I am not a fan of the alcopop genre of beers. In my thin experience in drinking “hard” root beer, or cream soda is that it is too cloyingly sweet for me.

So when a PR arm for Small Town Brewery offered up samples of the latest brand extension, Not Your Mom’s. Well, I admit, I thought about responding snarkily. I checked my impulse though and now here are my reviews of the media samples that I received. (in full disclosure, I also got a mini-pie that was not half bad and a cool wooden crate).

The rating system utilized is based on how many ounces of twelve, that I could drink. Damn, there is the snark.

Not Your Mom’s Ice Tea – this tastes like the canned, overly sweet iced tea you would buy from a vending machine with a small/medium hit of vodka at the back. Zero carbonation to cut the sugar. 3 Ounces

Not Your Mom’s Strawberry Rhubarb – the highest ABV and also the most soda like of the group. Aroma is just sweet. Pours a bubbly pink and tastes like slightly fruity 7-Up. 2 Ounces

Not Your Mom’s Apple Pie – there is a ton of cinnamon here which is followed by a tongue slackening vanilla flavor. The taste worsens the more you have. Not much in the way of apple at all. More green Jolly Rancher. 3 Ounces

Except for the iced tea, the alcohol is masked completely. No beer like taste comes through at all. I know that I shouldn’t be looking for that but at least nod in that direction. There is a lot of fake taste here. They may be using top grade ingredients but combined they don’t taste real. They taste like soda pop. And not Whole Foods soda pop.

In addition, the “moms” on the label are all, how do I put this, ample. With plenty of cleavage. I see the name Small Town brewery and Not Your Mom’s so I don’t really want to be confronted with Betty Grable style pin-ups. Maybe I am too sensitive to sexist beer labels from the past.

If you want beer, steer clear of these. If you want sweet, find a place that does beer cocktails.

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Zomething Unneeded


If you are looking for a shark jumping moment for the alco-pop trend, well get ready to put on your water skis and leather jacket. Zima is returning to shelves for the first time since 2008. (I thought it died before Y2K)

Not only is it coming back amidst an even bigger craft beer market, it is entering a sub-niche at it’s most crowded as well. With Not Your Father’s augmented with Not Your Mom’s, Hard Lemonades, Bud-A-Rita’s galore and the like. I am thinking of bottling some of my tap water since it is really Hard too. Scarily, it would probably sell. Especially if I called it Hazy.

My firm prediction is that people will purchase one or two for retro/throwback purposes and never come back again. Zima will be gone before we even know it was there. If the marketing genius who proposed this was smart, they would release it once a year and create a whole retro themed event around it. Sorta like the Shamrock shake. Hell, sell it at McDonald’s with a McRib for an “UN”Happy Stomach Meal.

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Radler-ization

At a recent Boulevard tasting event, I tried out their Midwestern take on the Radler and maybe due to the heat or the underwhelming nature of the other beers that I tasted, it stuck out as the best of the bunch that day.

Fast forward to me getting an invite to meet and greet with the Widmer’s to taste their take on the Shandy. Sadly, I could not get off work to do so.

Then, my mom brings me some beer news from the Oregonian paper (cause she rolls old school with newsprint) and there is an ad for a Hopworks Radler.

One more item, then I promise to begin my dissertation. The Full Pint has a well thought out piece that recently posted on their site about alco-pops and the new wave of shandy-radler-hard root beers. The end sentence being, “I don’t hate them or want to see them go away, I’m just leery of where this is heading.”

One can be anti-radler or pro shandy or on the fence about hard root beer. (Which you should not be, I have had one and it was too much, and not in a good way) You can have your inside information about why they are being made. Economics or style exploration. But first, before any judgment can be passed, you have to try at least a couple if not more. After that, you have to filter it through the lens of history. These are not beer styles ripped out of whole cloth, these have been made in the past and will probably continue to be made in the future.

If, after that, you wish to call them an abomination upon the earth, then by all means vent your vitriol. But I would instead ponder that Full Pint question. Where is this heading? And why? Is it being led by consumer preference? A return to Old World roots? An attempt at more shelf space? Or is it some dark scheme aimed at underage drinkers?

Personally, I think it is a little from each of the columns.