Category: Opinion

my humble and correct opinion

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The Firkin for October 2020

I have ranted about IP (intellectual property) casual theft on the part of breweries across our nation. In fact, got a post coming up about a specific example.  But instead of using the same old adjectives like lazy and stealing or making a comment about if they try to get away with those type of labels, imagine what they are doing with the actual beer.  I am going to give some constructive ideas so that a brewery can stop doing it.

  1. Hire a local artist – there are great design artists out there, and a flock of great artists as well.  Contact your local universities or ask your regular fans to make suggestions.
  1. Create your own cartoon character – if you are so keen to put a toucan on your still fermenting fruit pop beer, then create your own mascot.  Hire a caricaturist to design one to be the face of your next beer.  Explodey the Covered in Beer Eagle is available.
  1. Use photography – rarely used so it will stand out if that is all you are looking for but you could document your since day one fans or your neighborhood.

Now get creative!

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RSVP

If I ran the responses to social media for a Los Angeles brewery right now, I would just type, “We Know.”

Granted, I am beyond happy that they can open again but LA seems intent on making the experience of visiting a taproom onerous. In addition to the bizarro everyone must order food mandate (whether you eat it or not), now you have to make a reservation in advance, you have only a window of time to sit and no more than six people in a group.

I am quite fine with the last one actually since I am an introvert but there is obviously a Prohibitionist streak tucked into this rule set. If you drink, you will get drunk and do something stupid. Alcohol bad. So, we will force you to eat, cut down on available time to drink, all in an effort to basically dissuade you from going in the first place.

Imagine a scenario where a brewery has empty tables and a resident of the community sees people drinking and says to themselves, a beer would be nice but because they are only a casual beer fan may not know all the hoops to jump through. That person gets turned away because they didn’t set a play date 24 hours in advance? Even though they may be perfectly responsible and safety conscious?

And don’t tell me it is about making sure a person doesn’t leave the house sick. That is all timing and an advanced RSVP doesn’t preclude a sick person from unwittingly passing a virus. No, it is just a hoop that the brewery owner has to police and become the bad guy for because what angry customer is going to go to the Mayor and complain to him.

I would have all my staff wearing sandwich boards saying, We Know the rules are crappy.

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Kettle Help

Sierra Nevada was going to travel their brew kettle around so that folks could see where the famously pale ale started. But the recent fires across California gave them a better opportunity. They took their equipment to Quincy, a California because Quintopia Brewing lost their equipment to fire. Now the brewhouse will serve as temporary stopgap so that the small brewery can pour beer at their taproom.

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Better than a Sticker

We will probably not see this particular Jester King or the below Gigantic beer in our neck of the SoCal woods but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’ treat yourself afterward doing your civic duty this year. I would suggest posting your beer photos along with a quick note about voting once you have filled in your mail in ballot. And if you find an LA brewery with a vote themed beer, buy it.

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2021

As much as it pains me to write these words, I do not see myself attending a beer event until at least March of next year. It also pains me to think that 2020 might not be the only year called a dumpster fire either.

The reason I say this is because, as I work the timeline backwards from February would require a workable vaccine to be found about, oh, now. Why? Because to ramp up vaccine production and get it distributed and then get the remaining Americans to get the shot is going to take time, three months or so is my eyeball reckoning. If we can get the anti-vaxxers and anti-maskers to participate.

Then breweries who have not already pushed their events will need to quick time hustle to safely hold a festival and have all the special beer glass made, tickets sold, beers brewed with a diminished post office and airline and hotel industry. Oh and no one wanting to Lyft in or out.

And if all the timing breaks right, you now have to convince fans to come out to what will be a smaller festival because there will be some breweries who will be reluctant to attend.

I don’t see it.

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A Red Engine

You nevertheless know what bit of info you can glean from a beer label, I learned about a new brewery coming to Santa Clarita from one….

…Red Engine Brewing Company is slated to open in 2021. Here is the website copy, “Red Engine Brewing Company will be the newest brewery and taproom in Santa Clarita, California – a bedroom suburban community located in north Los Angeles County. We are currently conducting research to identify the best location, likely to be near a newly-developing area of Santa Clarita. We plan to open in the summer or fall of 2021.”

I think it is best to look long and hard when it comes to location and put 2020 way, way in the rear view mirror. Watch this space or their social media for further info.

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How Many?

At one point in my beer blogging career, the following might have impressed me…

…but now. Those beers probably should have been drunk by now. They are live things and should not be embalmed. A better idea would be to drink the beer, save the bottle and tuck the recipe inside.

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The Firkin for September 2020

These are unprecedented times that make us wish for the previous, simpler “precedented” times.  Gone is the gathering at a taproom as more craft beer is being delivered in California now than at any other time that I can remember. With that surge comes the need for serious website skills to make the process of safely delivering beer from brewery to residence as seamless as possible.

I have ordered online from multiple sources in during this Stay at Home time.  Both from brewery and bottle shop.  Those experiences have led me to come up with my Pandemic Online Craft Beer Ordering requirements:

  1. Update, update, update – Data entry is a slog.  Automating inventory and tying it to your online beer shelf helps but breweries are not stopping adding SKU’s which means your site needs constant updating. Having to send a We’re Sorry, out of stock e-mail could impact future sales. A fancy site with label photos and long beer descriptions looks great but a simple and constantly updated site is better. 
  1. Make it Easy – Your website should be easy to navigate and even easier to add items into a shopping cart. If your customer has to run a gauntlet of sign-in’s and passwords and gets passed from your website to a third party, it will cause some potential buyers to stop.  That being said, your site doesn’t need to be Amazon One Click easy but it should have all focus on ensuring that items get placed in the cart.
  1. Newsletter Sign-Up – Let me now contradict myself. Either of the opt in or opt out variety is crucial. You can use the newsletter in many different ways.  To track what content generates more sales. You can use it to promote early bird buys because Craft beer fans love exclusivity or you can use it to promote any specials you have. 
  1. Clear Rules – If you sell by the case or by dollar amount.  If you deliver only on Friday and Saturday.  If you have purchasing limits.  Lay those out clearly and succinctly and most importantly, early in the process. You can always have a link to an FAQ for more details but a summary is needed too.
  1. The Customer is not always right – There are far too many anti-maskers out there which is why we are in the online ordering world that we are.  But that is not the only outrageous customer demand. They are legion.  For the business, that means that you stick to your rules. Keep the playing field level.  If customers find out rules can be skirted more will ask for that special treatment. 

Don’t think for a minute that I don’ have suggestions for the consumer during the online ordering process.  I certainly do.

  1. Tip and tip hard – Breweries are hurting.  Sales are not what they were obviously and one way to bridge that shortfall is through tips. 
  1. Give constructive criticism – First, thank them for the beer, then if you see a possible improvement, let them know. It may be something that they had not thought of.  Once given, don’t expect your pearl of wisdom to be put into action.  
  1. Practice patience – The entire beer buying experience is totally different now. Expect delays because breweries are not a delivery business. Keep your expectations in line. 

This set of suggestions are not written to lay blame or wag a disapproving finger but rather to improve the whole beer buying process for both sides because this may become how we buy beer not just now but going forward. 

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Virtual Hop – Week 4

More hop news from Yakima Chief via the interwebs and the virtual hop season… plus some extra tidbits from perusing what competitor Hopsteiner has going…

  • Hop blends were initially created to mimic single hops that had low supply but now tend towards charity or group blends such as Pink Boots or Falconers Flight
  • The next blend evolution may be in Cryo
  • The employees who seam up bales are really good at what must be a loud and repetitive job with high throughput pressure
  • Sad comment on fires, one of the Carpenter clan made the rueful joke, “had to light up a cigarette to get a breath of fresh air”
  • Will hop extracts be celebrated like fresh hop and whole leaf. Just doesn’t seem to have the It Factor.
  • Hop scientific research seems to be a growing field
  • Weird fact, there have been studies that show music has an impact on flavor perception
  • I really want to visit this magical Sports Center bar I never Yakima
  • Hop selection may seem fun but having two or three days where you smell nothing but hops is tiring
  • Why are there no fresh hop Festbiers or Kolsches?