Whither Lagunitas?

In late October, the news broke that Lagunitas (or was it Heineken) had closed a Community Room charitable space in Portland. It was PR claimed that it was a hard decision to make but I am pretty sure that the big brewery could have stopped taking reservations and then easily found the spare change in the marketing department couch to keep the place afloat through all the booked events or called it quits on January 2nd.

This led me back to a conversation I had recently where the massive Lagunitas complex off the 210 freeway was brought up and how it had completely fallen off the map in the Los Angeles beer universe. Back in time when I was invited there on media day and saw all the space for trucks to be loaded with easy access to move out onto the freeway to send Lagunitas beer to the large SoCal market and presumably to Mexico. Space for brewing and taprooms and food. But years have passed and no rooftop garden bar as spoken of. Nothing but a temporary taproom that had the look of thrown together over a weekend which I don’t even know is open or not anymore. And there ha been nary an update about the whole project since.

If two states are affected, in two widely disparate areas like Portland and SoCal, there is something afoot. This feels like a re-trenchment from above and not something guided by Petaluma HQ. I expected this to happen to one of the “High End” breweries or Constellation with the inflated Ballast Point sale but maybe Heineken hit a financial wall first. A self-imposed wall to be sure.

BSP Advice Column – Sunset Strip Brewery

As far as interwebs hoaxes go, this was well done. But for the sake of future brewers who feel entitled my original (April Fool’d) post still stands. So in honor of a good joke, here is what I would have written if Sunset Strip Brewing were real……

I don’t think I could survive long giving out advice. Oh, I have opinions and ideas and sarcasm but those qualities are not usually top of the list for future Dear Abby’s. But when I saw this pop up on my social media feed….
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After thinking to myself, “Who is Sunset Strip Brewery?” and then doing a cursory Google search which turned up more hits for the fantastic Sunset Beer Co. bottle shop, I began to think of scenarios that would lead to this Tweet. (I ran into the same issue when I first heard about them months back.

Drunken?  Nope.  Posted at 10am with correctly spelled @ call signs with capitalization too.

Frustration? Maybe, but no one reached out to me and I doubt that any or all of the organizations listed would have refused to run something.

Internal Strife? Seemed most likely since the biggest stressor in L.A. is the getting your brewery open process but without information I let the issue drop and planned to wait to try beer if it ever came to be.

Well, first the Tweet was denied and labeled a hack, then this happened….
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…and the BSP Advice columnist in me jumped up.

There is so much wrong in that “non”-apology. But let’s first write the correct response:
Hello, my name is Mark and I want to apologize for a member of the Sunset Strip Brewery team who made ill-advised remarks on social media.  The remark has been taken down and we are dismayed that it even saw the light of day. It is not how we want to present ourselves to the fans of craft beer in L.A.

We hope, in the coming months, to spread the word about our brewery and our ambitious plans in  a positive way and even more we hope to share our beer with the City of Los Angeles sooner rather than later.

If you want to talk to us then please contact us at the e-mail address below.

Literally, except for the first sentence, every other paragraph in “their apology” had something horribly wrong in it.  (Not to mention some spelling gaffes).  Just as an FYI to future brewers out there, what NOT to do:

paragraph two – “those of you who that said things you regret will take responsibility for it” / An apology does not ask for an apology back.

paragraph three – “We have a combined 50 years plus brewing experience.” / An apology should not be cribbed from your About page of your website.

paragraph four – “We’re currently in talk(s) with producers about television opportunities” / An apology should be brief and not about plans unrelated to the actual beer.

paragraph five – All of it. / An apology does not reinforce whatever was said that made an apology necessary.

paragraph six – “reasonably priced t-shirts” / An apology should have some remorse.  Not vague swag promises.

paragraph seven – “abuse and cyber bullying we received” / An apology does not include mitigating factors.

I will try the beer but, frankly, it would have to be really damn good for me to write about it.  Right now LA has such good beer flowing that I do not have time to visit the people and places I enjoy, let alone drink beer from people who don’t understand how to communicate a simple apology. And this episode speaks to how disorganized this group is and leads me to think that they probably won’t even make it to the brewing stage at all.