Needed or Not? – YuleLager

Looks like 2024 is when yule logs jumped the shark thanks to the  limited-edition Miller Lite YuleLager, described as “a digital, beer-pouring fireplace that offers fans a festive new way to savor the sights, sounds, and great tasting sips of the holiday season.”

With such “amazing” features like….

  • “A custom BeerBlaze LED screen, which creates the illusion of a frothy, beer-filled fire;
  • A custom audio track so fans can enjoy the sounds of the crackling, faux fire paired with the satisfying pop of a freshly opened Miller Lite;
  • Extra beer storage designed to keep Miller Lite at the perfect temperature;
  • Sturdy, built-in stocking hooks;
  • An insulated, fully removable chimney-inspired beer tower that allows fans to pour ice-cold Miller Lite straight from the beautifully crafted wooden base of the YuleLager, turning holiday time into Miller Time.

Not Needed – just buy good Christmas beers and get YouTube to play a crackling fire for you and yours.

Needed or Not? – Peanut Bar

You know what I haven’t been waiting for for 53 years, a giant peanut dive bar on wheels but yet, Miller Lite has joined up with Planters to create a 26-foot nut bar.

The installation also includes: (because it has to by influencer law)

  • A selfie wall that only needs red string to make super creepy
  • A dropped ceiling littered with dollar bills to create the feel of a bar that no millennial would be caught dead in
  • A nut-shaped jukebox with I assume power ballads about nuts?
  • A warm nut machine (also the name of my ska band)

Christmas Needed or Not – Miller Lite Tree Stand

The corporate beer crew love a good piece of misdirection.  Like a Vegas magician, they want you to look anywhere but AT the beer and Christmas is a time of magic so of course Miller Lite is selling…

….the limited-edition keg stand sells for $49.99 and is the latest addition to the Miller Lite holiday lineup, and shows that they would much rather market then buy good ingredients and improve their beer.

Needed?  – Unless you want an intervention on the 26th of December, not.  But at least it is better than an ugly Christmas sweater.

Too Early to Put Coal in the Stocking?

Who in the actual f..k would seriously use this…

… I nearly did a spit take with this PR copy, “To bring real beer taste to the grill, actual Miller Lite is reduced down into a concentrated form which then coats Miller Lite Beercoal with the iconic taste of the original light beer. When burned, this special charcoal releases the taste of Miller Lite wrapping whatever you’re grilling in a smokey beer blanket suitable for summer.”

So, the taste of water? Why not douse your pit BBQ with a pitcher of H2O then.

I wish there was video of the pitch meeting for this.

Needed or Not? – The Shoezie

I can just picture this pitch meeting. Some marketing and swag VP cracks a joke about shoes being the first iteration of can coozy. A higher up laughs and then barks for a lackey to call his counterpart over at New Balance and thus….

A) It looks like something you would put on a horse for a Disney kids movie

B) I know Lite MUST be drunk cold so that you can freeze your taste buds but do I want the aroma of shoe leather?

Verdict – So not needed

Light at the Top


Light or “lite” depending on your education level, rules the U.S. roost. Not a surprise, except for the fact that it just happened last year. That is one of my golden nuggets from recent 3rd quarter sales figures up at the top of the sales world.

The other takeaway is that Bud is still falling and that the U.S. seems to be the major ache for the beer as a commodity business. Anheuser-Busch InBev – North American revenues were down 5% to $4.3 billion. And Year to date, they’re down almost 4% which means Q3 was worse.

Why do I care about these things? Obviously sales of that magnitude are in the far future for independent beer but it does send a strong signal that the chipping away from the big sellers is still there and growing. Maybe not at the fast clip of the past but that may have been the low hanging fruit.

That fruit may next be plucked by Europe and then the rest of the world, at that point, we may see a drastic course change from the Bud Light – Coors Light – Miller Lite troika. And that change may lead to reactions.

We may well see reactions to Miller Lite taking the #3 spot by not losing as much ground. Will the big three return to fighting each other maybe?