Miller/Coors Shake-up

I don’t know how much power a temporary CEO has, never risen even close to that high in an organization, but apparently Gavin Hattersley of MillerCoors has enough to discard some senior execs upon taking office.

I don’t usually follow the comings and goings of corporate beer. Though I should since beloved brands are headed deeper into that territory. imageBut I found the “who” fired seemed quite relevant.

Chief Marketing Officer and President of Sales and Distributor Operations gone and replaced.

Two occupations most affected by the rise of craft beer.  Granted, that is a bold statement to make but hear me out. The industrial water lager behemoths don’t care what the flavor of the beer is as long as is tastes within parameters so the only people who catch blame are those advertising it and selling it. If the latter doesn’t happen, then the formers amps up the desperation knowing that their jobs are now on the line because one layer of insulation has been removed.

If both get the proverbial axe to the point where a caretaker can can you then sales have dropped far too far. And where did those sales go?  I can answer that with a question: Who has grown for the past umpteen years?  Craft Beer.  Ergo.  Quid pro Quo.  Me drinking craft beer made MillerCoors change course.

Not just me. You too of course.

The Firkin for August 2010

I often try to live by the credo, “don’t complain, construct” Of course I just made that credo up right now but it’s a nice little bit of wordplay.

So instead of bashing ABInBev, MillerCoors and the rest of the industrial gang for their insipid tasting water lagers, I am going to lay out how they get back into the game and stop their downward sales spiral.

1. Stop the actual beer talk in your commercials.
Stick with selling beer to guys with ridiculously hot girlfriends. Stick with humor. Hell, stick with drinkability. But stop the hop talk, don’t mention malt or even discuss the brewing process. All you are doing is confusing the people already mesmerized into buying your beer and seriously pissing off beer geeks who know better.

Case in point – Triple hop brewed. The clever person who thought that up should be demoted. Leaving aside technical discussions of how a lot of better beer is triple hop brewed, why even bring hops into it, let alone three times! Your beer tastes NOTHING of hops. My tap water has more hop flavor than your beer. You are a selling machine, what you are selling, in essence, doesn’t matter.

2. Brew local
Each of your mammoth, gargantuan plants should brew a local beer for the area. A beer that is available only in that area. Beer Geeks LOVE rarity. How about actually setting aside the notion that you have to make a billion bottles of your beer. West coast operations should do an IPA, maybe a wheat beer in the midwest, a saison in Florida. It will instill pride for each facility and could be expanded. Each branch could have a stable of local only beers.

It won’t bring back the craft beer fans who have long since abandoned you but you might slow the attrition rate amongst the disaffected and searching.

3. R&D
You have great equipment, state of the art computers, access to whatever ingredients you want, great brewers. And you have them all doing the same thing. Don’t get me wrong, to make a consistent beer all across the world is an impressive feat. But you are not getting the full talent and benefit of your staff. Cut them loose to do special brews for company functions or trade shows. Unshackle your full potential!

Somehow you all have mistaken colorful mountains or vortexes for innovation. It’s not. It’s packaging and each time you chase it you get a bump then a dip back down. It’s like crack to you people. Innovate with the product instead.

There you go! Salvation. Free of charge.

Stealth Industrial beer

tenth-and-blake-beer-co

Cool hipster logo. Looks like a brewery to check out. Until you dig further to see that it is a autonomous unit of MillerCoors. Purportedly made up of great brewers that won’t be influenced by corporate drones.

“MillerCoors LLC announced Thursday a new name for the company’s craft and import beer division: Tenth and Blake Beer Co.

The name refers to the company’s Milwaukee brewery, at 1515 N. 10th St., where the Leinenkugel’s craft beers are made, and to Denver’s Blake St., home to MillerCoors’ Blue Moon Brewing Co. at the Sandlot.”

They currently make some pretty good beers Blue Moon, Leinenkugel’s, Pilsner Urquell. They brew the remnants of once great brands competently if not with imagination Peroni, Killian’s, Henry Weinhard’s, Grolsch. And they do the new Colorado Native and Sandlot beers for the Rockies ballpark (Brewmaster’s Special, Ski Brews, Barmen, Championship Amber Ale, Right Field Red, Slugger Stout, Power Alley ESB). None of which I am too inclined to try.

The industrial water lager makers can’t compete on flavor but they aren’t going to sit down and watch market share drip away. They will buy what they can’t make, make poor copies of what they won’t make and if all else fails will distribute good stuff to at least be near the heart of beer.

Who brews this?

This is a list of what ABInbev & MillerCoors “brews”. It was put together by Beer Wars documentarian Anat Baron. With the New Year coming up, it might be good to make a resolution to find better beer than these offerings.

ANHEUSER-BUSCH INBEV
BUD LIGHT
BUDWEISER
NATURALLIGHT
BUSCH LIGHT
BUSCH
NATURALICE
MICHELOB ULTRALIGHT
BUD ICE
BUD LIGHT LIME
BUDWEISER SELECT
BUD LIGHT GOLDEN WHEAT
MICHELOB LIGHT
KING COBRA
HURRICANE HIGH GRAVITY
BUD LIGHT CHELADA
ROLLING ROCK
BECKS
STELLAARTOIS LAGER
ODOULS NA
HURRICANE MALT LIQUOR
BUSCH ICE
MICHELOB AMBER BOCK
BUDWEISER CHELADA
BUDWEISER SELECT 55
BUD DRY
LANDSHARK LAGER
MICHELOB
MICHELOB GOLDEN DRAFT LIGHT
TILT 8% LEMON LIME
BUSCH NA
SHOCK TOPBELGIAN WHITE ALE
MICHELOB ULTRALIME CACTUS
MICHELOB ULTRAAMBER
BUDWEISER AMERICAN ALE
BASS ALE
KOKANEE GLACIER PILSENER
BACARDI SILVER MOJITO
ODOULS AMBER NA
ANHEUSER-BUSCH SEASONAL
BECKS PREMIER LIGHT
BACARDI SILVER RAZ
MICHELOB ULTR POMEGRANAT RSPBRRY
BUD ICE LIGHT
TILT
HAAKE BECK NA
HOEGAARDEN WHITE ALE
ZIEGENBOCK AMBER
BACARDI SILVER STRAWBERRY
BODDINGTONS PUB CREAM ALE
BECKS DARK
BECKS OKTOBERFEST
BACARDI SILVER LEMONADE
KIRIN ICHIBAN
MICHELOB SEASONAL
WILD BLUE
ROCK LIGHT
BACARDI SILVER SIGNATURE SANGRIA
MICHELOB ULTR TUSCN ORNG GRAPFRT
BACARDI SILVER WATERMELON
REDBRIDGE
BACARDI SILVER MOJITO POMEGRANATE
KOKANEE GOLD
TAKE 6 HOME VARIETYPACK
BUSCH ASSORTED
BACARDI SILVER MOJITO MANGO
BUD EXTRA
MICHELOB HONEYLAGER
LOWENBRAU

MILLERCOORS BREWING
COORS LIGHT
MILLER LITE
KEYSTONE LIGHT
MILLER HIGH LIFE
ICEHOUSE
MILWAUKEES BEST LIGHT
STEELRSRV HI GRAV LAGER
MILLER GENUINE DRAFT
MILWAUKEES BEST ICE
COORS
MILWAUKEES BEST
MGD LIGHT 64
OLDE ENGLISH 800 MALT LIQ
MILLER HIGH LIFE LIGHT
BLUE MOON BELGIUM WHITE
KEYSTONE ICE
MICKEYS MALT LIQUOR
FOSTERS LAGER
GEORGE KILLIANS IRISH RED
SPARKS
SPARKS PLUS
MOLSON CANADIAN
BLUE MOON SEASONAL
STEELRSRV TRIPLE EXPORT
MILLER CHILL
HAMMS
MAGNUM
RED DOG
KEYSTONE
MOLSON ICE
LEINENKUGELSEASONAL
HEN WNHRDS PVT RSRV
OLDE ENGLISH HG800
FOSTERS PREMIUM ALE
SOUTHPAW LIGHT
HEN WNHRDS BLUE BOAR PALE
LEINENKUGELSUNSET WHT
MILLER LITE ICE
PILSNER URQUELL
PERONI NASTRO AZZURRO
LEINENKUGEL
BGROLSCH LAGER
LEINENKUGELCLASSIC AMBER
MOLSON GOLDEN
SHARPS NA
MICKEYS ICE ALE
COORS NA
MOLSON XXX
HEN WNHRDS HONEYHEFE
LEINENKUGELBERRYWEISS
MOLSON CANADIAN LIGHT
HEN WNHRDS BLOND LAGER
LEINENKUGELRED
LEINENKUGELVARIETYPACK
OLD VIENNA
HEN WNHRD CLSSC DARK
COORS EXTRAGOLD
HEN WNHRDS BELGIAN WHT
SPARKS LIGHT
LEINENKUGELLIGHT
HEN WEINHARDS SEASONAL
LEINENKUGLCREAMYDARK
HAMMS SPECIALLIGHT
TYSKIE GRONIE

Commodity prices

According to yesterday’s Los Angeles Times, due to rising commodity prices ABInbev and MillerCoors are raising prices. “Retailers will not eat the price increases.” Shouldn’t it say “not drink up” the price increases? And what really is interesting, is how no mention is made of what commodity. Are they afraid to say corn and rice?